Timber? Don’t you mean Gopher wood?
- Did you hear about the man who cooled himself to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
- So I’m not the only one who likes Chemistry humor after all.
- I know. I take lame jokes to new Fahrenheits.
- I think all my jokes are real joules.
- Don’t tell me; you torr something laughing?
- I’m starting to dislike the atmospheres in here.
- Ohm my god, it’s getting worse.
- That news wouldn’t be newton to me.
- Could it be that all the good jokes Argon?
- I’m worried that the puns will start to get Bohring.
- I guess we’ll have to Barium.
- How’s this: Helium floats into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gasses in here.” Helium doesn’t react.
- Heisenberg is driving down a road when a cop stops him. The cop comes up to the window and says, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg responds, “No, but I know where I am.”
- A gold atom walks into a bar. The bartender says, ” ‘ey you!”
LATE FOR THE TRAIN: This guy usually drives up the road around midnight in a car whose muffler has seen better days, with high beams on looking for an empty site. Drives around two or three times, finally settles on site across the road. Proceeds to fire up at least two Coleman kerosene lanterns, creating daylight conditions for 30 yards in each direction.