Hijacking a Knock-Knock Joke
I found this a few years ago on a comment thread somewhere.
Steve: who’s ready for a monday morning joke guyz?
Do We Really Need Two Fork Sizes?
Do you realize that trying to eat steak with a fish or shellfish fork would be pretty awkward?
Likewise trying to dig morsels of meat out of shrimp, crab, and snail shells is darn near impossible if you’re using a steak fork? And trying to stir your coffee with a soup spoon or slurping soup with a teaspoon?
Likewise trying to dig morsels of meat out of shrimp, crab, and snail shells is darn near impossible if you’re using a steak fork? And trying to stir your coffee with a soup spoon or slurping soup with a teaspoon?
A Collection of Puns
Not everyone enjoys puns. Puns are rarely funny. Most people groan after hearing a pun. Here are some of my favorites.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. When they lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
Two Snappy Comebacks
Q: What do you call a 3.14′ long snake?
A: A πthon.
An Expiration Date Worth One’s Salt
A customer comes up to me – a customer service rep at a supermarket – with a can of table salt.
Customer: “There’s no expiration date on this.”
Roadkill Barbecue
Here’s a photo of a dude who takes his barbecue outfit along as he follows the yellow line. However, if you look closely at the highlighted area, those grillin’ tools are going to need some serious scrubbing after picking up a collection of bugs and dirt from the road, much like your windshield does.
Spy vs. Spy – Berlin 1966
Yeah, while Vietnam was a pretty hot zone and pretty screwed up from the beginning, Berlin was a cold war zone, with daily incidents at the wall. We had free access to the East and our visible intelligence officers cruised around in green military vehicles.
One time a car was coming through the checkpoint back to the West when the gate crashed down on the roof. Just another harassing tactic. The next day a Russian intelligence car was rerouted down a one-way street dead end, where a skunk was tossed into the engine while the driver was trying to turn around. Retribution.
Have you ever seen a heavy tracked vehicle make a turn at 30 mph? Tanks turn by putting the brakes on the inner track while speeding up the outer track. At speed the outer track digs into the soil as it’s moving sideways and forward at the same time (commonly known as slip-skid), and the track throws up a lot of dirt. The dirt is scraped off the surface onto the track, the gets thrown off as the track hits the driver gear at the rear. Guys would do this in a tank range where there were Soviet watch towers 30′ away – the object was to see how far they could throw the dirt over the wire fencing.
Creative News Reporting
We bring you the latest in New Journalism
Today I was reading news articles on my iPad. I noticed that over the past week, every now and then there’s an article where the author appears to be paid by the word, based on the totally superfluous garbage used to set the scene, as if they were writing a play.
Today I was reading news articles on my iPad. I noticed that over the past week, every now and then there’s an article where the author appears to be paid by the word, based on the totally superfluous garbage used to set the scene, as if they were writing a play.
Here’s what I am talking about:
Doughty Puns
Here are more punny comments by native wits who frequent one of the news sites I read. Read More ➥