: What do you call a 3.14' long snake? A: A πthon. Me: The mail lady told me she was heading to Spain for a vacation. I asked her if she was going to visit Parcelona. She proceeded to ignore what I thought was a decent joke. Marc: Well, did
customer comes up to me - a customer service rep at a supermarket - with a can of table salt. Customer: “There’s no expiration date on this.” Me: “No, sir.” Customer: “But how will I know when it goes bad?” Me: “Um, it’s salt. It doesn’t go bad.” Customer: “Nonsense!
I’m serving at the bar of a club when a woman orders a soda. I pour the drink and serve it to her. Woman: “I want the ice at the bottom of the glass, please.” Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did put the ice in first.” Woman: “No, I want it
Here's a photo of a dude who takes his barbecue outfit along as he follows the yellow line. However, if you look closely at the highlighted area, those grillin' tools are going to need some serious scrubbing after picking up a collection of bugs and dirt from the road, much
Today I was reading news articles on my iPad. I noticed that over the past week, every now and then there’s an article where the author appears to be paid by the word, based on the totally superfluous garbage used to set the scene, as if they were writing a
I was listening to some radio quiz program called Says You! while on the road shortly after February 14, and the theme was Valentine’s day. The host gave the name Maria Sklodowska and asked the panel to name her partner. After much humorous banter, the panel finally guessed that she
Anyone who browses various news and entertainment sites on the web will see those little ads embedded in site sidebars, often with such titles as, How to cure acne with this simple solution, Can you name these 60s actors?, and The truth behind JFK's 1972 disappearance. One that popped into
Out of touch with Reality Silicon Valley "bros" have been smoking something bad when they manage to convince each other to pay $35 for a jug of unfiltered, untreated "raw" water. Raw water is water that is bottled directly from the source: a creek, a hillside spring, or a lake. Raw water is "raw" because it has not been filtered or treated to remove chemicals or bacteria that could cause illness or death. We've researched this topic and unearthed a few enterprising bottlers of raw water. According to news sources, 2.5 gallon jugs are going for more than $35. Piers Pure Raw Water (extracted from a tributary of Pence Creek that runs through the feedlot of Piers Dairy in Indiana)
This article caught my eye recently. It always amazes me to learn about things people collect. An uncle, who was a Greyhound driver, used to collect matchbooks. I have heard about people who collect casino chips and have a lot invested. Beer steins, beer bottles, beer bottle caps, booze bottles, hair
People get carried away in the comments section, but thankfully, this thread was short. I remember seeing one of those. It was near the dance hall where they were holding a hop. I hear if those get out of hand, someone could croak. That's quite the leap of imagination. I
I and two of my friends are at a convenience store buying drinks. My friend's drink is $2.73 including tax. He hands the cashier exactly $2.73. But the cashier doesn’t take it. Friend: “Here you go.” Cashier: “This isn’t enough.” Friend: “What do you mean. You said it was $2.73
Funny, I haven't changed my opinion of the theory of gravity either. I must just be stubborn I guess. I don't now, I'm a bit up in the air about it. I've tried changing my mind - but falling flat on my face once was enough to convince me. Only
I remember ages ago I was at my cousin's watching football with a few of his friends. At one point I went to the kitchen, which was next to the front door, to get a beer refill when there was a knock on the door. Since I was right there,
I tried to catch some fog. I mist. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime. How
STORE OWNER: Why do my taxes keep going up? PROPERTY ASSESSOR: Because the churches don't pay taxes, so we have to make up the difference. STORE OWNER: And why are there so many churches? PROPERTY ASSESSOR: Because we're not allowed to decide whether or not something's a church. STORE OWNER:
If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler. I childproofed my house but the kids still get in. The first five days after a weekend are the hardest. Ban pre-shredded cheese - make America grate again. The Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar - it
Doughty Puns