Hijacking a Knock-Knock Joke

I found this a few years ago on a comment thread somewhere.

Steve: who’s ready for a monday morning joke guyz?

Steve: knock knock…

Steve who’s there?

Steve: Irish Stu

David: Oh hi, Stu, come on in, it’s been a while. What brings you round this way?

David: Just passing by, huh? Cool, cool. Just as long as Sarah didn’t kick you out of the house, ha ha

David: “Stu starts crying uncontrollably”

David: Oh shit, she did? Man, I am so sorry, I was just kidding. What the hell happened?

Steve: Can we not do this again, Dave, I’m just trying to tell a joke

Tim: Knock Knock

David: Wait a second, Stu, I think I hear someone at the door. Ill go get rid of them. I’m sure it’s just a salesman…

David: Hello, can I help you?

Tim: I’m batman

Steve: Tim don’t encourage him!

David: Holy heck, it’s the caped crusader What are you doing here?

Tim: I’m not the caped crusader, I’m batman with a little b. I’m here to get rid of your bats.

David: Oh, I see. Still, it seems weird you’d show up in a bat costume if you’re only in pest control. I mean you don’t see regular exterminators fumigate houses dressed like giant wood lice.

Steve: I swear to god guys

Tim: Alright, you’ve got me, I’m not in pest control I’m here to see Stu.

David: Stu, do you know this guy?

David: Stu?

Tim: Why are you crying, Stu? Did you do it? Did you finally leave her?

David: Wait a second, are you two…?

Tim: Yes… we’re lovers.

Steve: Seriously Tim fsck off!!!

David: I Well, that explains why Sarah kicked you out.

David: Doesn’t really explain the Batman costume though…

Tim: Lttle ‘b’, and take it up with the head office.

Tim: Stu I know you’re hurting right now but this is what we wanted. With Sarah gone we can finally be together

Danny: knock knock

David: For heaven’s sake, who is this now?

Steve: ffs dan please can I get back to my joke??

Ariane: LOL loving this!!!

Danny: my name is Detective Inspector Hardbottom and I’m investigating a very serious matter. You see there’s been… a murder

David: Oh my God!


David: But I don’t understand, what do you want with me?

Tim: I’m batman! (little b)

Danny: I’m not here for you or batman (little B) I’m here for your Gaelic friend over there.

Steve: if you don’t stop right now i’m unfriending the lot of you!!!

Tim: (I’m liking where this is going…)

Danny: Stuart please put your hands where I can see them. I’m booking you for the bloody murder of your wife, Sarah. In other words… IRISH STU IN THE NAME OF THE LAW


Steve: Seriously you can all get fscked.