2019-11-09

Hijacking a Knock-Knock Joke

Steve: who's ready for a monday morning joke guyz? Steve: knock knock... Steve who's there? Steve: Irish Stu David: Oh hi, Stu, come on in, it's been a while. What brings you round this way? David: Just passing by, huh? Cool, cool. Just as long as Sarah didn't kick you out of the house, ha ha David: "Stu starts crying uncontrollably" David: Oh shit, she did? Man, I am so
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2019-10-06

Do We Really Need Two Fork Sizes?

Likewise trying to dig morsels of meat out of shrimp, crab, and snail shells is darn near impossible if you're using a steak fork? And trying to stir your coffee with a soup spoon or slurping soup with a teaspoon? In 7th grade (in 1954-5) (on the SF peninsula) we had an interesting hour. The first two quarters we boys had three days in woodshop and the girls had cooking
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2019-10-06

A Collection of Puns

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. When they lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, was known as
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2019-10-06

Two Snappy Comebacks

:  What do you call a 3.14' long snake? A:  A πthon. Me:  The mail lady told me she was heading to Spain for a vacation.  I asked her if she was going to visit Parcelona.  She proceeded to ignore what I thought was a decent joke. Marc:  Well, did you say it right?  The key to a good mailman joke is in the delivery  
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2019-10-05

An Expiration Date Worth One’s Salt

customer comes up to me - a customer service rep at a supermarket - with a can of table salt. Customer: “There’s no expiration date on this.” Me: “No, sir.” Customer: “But how will I know when it goes bad?” Me: “Um, it’s salt. It doesn’t go bad.” Customer: “Nonsense! All food goes bad!” Me: “Sir, salt does not go bad. It’s a mineral.” Customer: “It’s food! It goes bad!”
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2019-09-26

Roadkill Barbecue

Here's a photo of a dude who takes his barbecue outfit along as he follows the yellow line. However, if you look closely at the highlighted area, those grillin' tools are going to need some serious scrubbing after picking up a collection of bugs and dirt from the road, much like your windshield
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2019-02-25

Romance and Radiation

I was listening to some radio quiz program called Says You! while on the road shortly after February 14, and the theme was Valentine’s day.  The host gave the name Maria  Sklodowska and asked the panel to name her partner.  After much humorous banter, the panel finally guessed that she married Pierre Curie, at which point one of the panelists remarked that she then became a madam.   The host
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