If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.
I childproofed my house but the kids still get in.
The first five days after a weekend are the hardest.
Ban pre-shredded cheese – make America grate again.
The Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar – it was tense.
They’re not going to make yardsticks any longer.
Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
If you think eduaction is costly, try ignorance.
I checked into the Hokey-Pokey Clinic and I turned myself around.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
This is my stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.
I want to grow my own food but I can’t find any bacon seeds.
If your car is running, I’m voting for it.
I visited the Air & Space Museum but there was nothing there.
My wife said I never listen to her, or something like that.
Frog parking only – all others will be toad.