Anecdotes

Do We Really Need Two Fork Sizes?

Do you realize that trying to eat steak with a fish or shellfish fork would be pretty awkward?

An author who I follow sends out a monthly newsletter.  Recently he asked the question of why flatware sets include two sizes of forks.  I answered him by mentioning that there were specialized silverware items that make it easier to eat certain foods, such as eating steak with a fish fork.   Likewise trying to dig morsels of meat out of shrimp, crab, and snail shells is darn near impossible if you’re using a steak fork?  And trying to stir your coffee with a soup spoon or slurping soup with a teaspoon?

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Missionary Interrupts Sunday Football

Always keep a big quiet man as one of your friends
I remember ages ago I was at my cousin’s watching football with a few of his friends.

At one point I went to the kitchen, which was next to the front door, to get a beer refill when there was a knock on the door. Since I was right there, I answered it, only to find some Elmer Gantry-looking chap.

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Jeanne’s Tree Nightmare

"Dear Jeanne: While walking my dog (strange things always seem to happen when I'm walking my dog), I came upon a black van parked near my neighbor Jeanne's house. There were a couple of goons wearing wraparound shades studying your sick maple tree."

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Package Delivery

I live next door to a lovely lady who is a music professor at our local university. During the year she takes time to lead workshops, give recitals, and appear as a guest artist in various orchestras around the world.

I am her designated house caretaker whenever she’s traveling, whether it’s to Interlochen in Michigan, or southern Italy. Besides tending her plants inside and out, I also collect her mail from the community mail boxes, which I sort into piles of advertising, bulk rate, and first class. She also tends to do a fair amount of shopping online, which means the occasional UPS dropoff on her porch. On longer trips, she has been known to mail manuscripts and scores no longer needed back to herself.

Imagine her surprise when I emailed a photo of one day’s deliveries to her:

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Two Stories on the Death of Camping

LATE FOR THE TRAIN: This guy usually drives up the road around midnight in a car whose muffler has seen better days, with high beams on looking for an empty site. Drives around two or three times, finally settles on site across the road. Proceeds to fire up at least two Coleman kerosene lanterns, creating daylight conditions for 30 yards in each direction.

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