Comment threads of news items can be pretty much echo chambers but every once in a while, some posts a random comment that leads to a rich variety of punny responses.
I lurk on various news and special interest forums. Occasionally the commenters get carried away with cascading puns:
Heisenberg is driving down a road when a cop stops him. The cop comes up to the window and says, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg responds, “No, but I know where I am.”
While walking my dog (strange things always seem to happen when I’m walking my dog), I came upon a black van parked near my neighbor Jeanne’s house. There were a couple of goons wearing wraparound shades studying your sick maple tree. When they saw me approach, they scuttled into their van and drove off in a cloud of sulfurous-smelling fumes.
I live next door to a lovely lady who is a music professor at our local university. During the year she takes time to lead workshops, give recitals, and appear as a guest artist in various orchestras around the world. I am her designated house caretaker whenever she’s traveling, whether it’s to Interlochen in Michigan, or southern Italy. Besides tending her plants inside and out, I also collect her mail from the community mail...
In the past decade, food producers large and small began to add seeds and nuts and dried fruit to their products, then slapped the Artisan label on it, and concomitantly raised the price in the expectation that the unwary consumer would be thrilled at the thought of purchasing something of greater value, if not a bit of snob appeal.
LATE FOR THE TRAIN: This guy usually drives up the road around midnight in a car whose muffler has seen better days, with high beams on looking for an empty site. Drives around two or three times, finally settles on site across the road. Proceeds to fire up at least two Coleman kerosene lanterns, creating daylight conditions for 30 yards in each direction.
Now here’s just the thing to take on your next camping trip or to just set up in your back yard. Imagine how popular you’ll be with other nearby campers, who just wanted to spend a night or two outdoors away from the stresses of life back in the neighborhood, when you set this up and begin showing the latest blood and gore horror movie. Why tell the kids ghost stories around the campfire when you can scare the whole campground with...