Out of touch with Reality Silicon Valley "bros" have been smoking something bad when they manage to convince each other to pay $35 for a jug of unfiltered untreated "raw" water.

Comment threads of news items can be pretty much echo chambers but every once in a while, some posts a random comment that leads to a rich variety of punny responses.

Chemistry Puns

Found in the comments of a recent article I read:

All that gold is not glitter.

While walking my dog (strange things always seem to happen when I'm walking my dog), I came upon a black van parked near my neighbor Jeanne's house. There were a couple of goons wearing wraparound shades studying your sick maple tree. When they saw me approach, they scuttled into their van and drove off in a cloud of sulfurous-smelling fumes.

I live next door to a lovely lady who is a music professor at our local university. During the year she takes time to lead workshops, give recitals, and appear as a guest artist in various orchestras around the world.

I am her designated house caretaker whenever she’s traveling, whether it’s to Interlochen in Michigan, or southern Italy. Besides tending her plants inside and out, I also collect her mail from the community mail boxes, which I sort into piles of advertising, bulk rate, and first class. She also tends to do a fair amount of shopping online, which means the occasional UPS dropoff on her porch. On longer trips, she has been known to mail manuscripts and scores no longer needed back to herself. read more ➤

In the past decade, food producers large and small began to add seeds and nuts and dried fruit to their products, then slapped the Artisan label on it, and concomitantly raised the price in the expectation that the unwary consumer would be thrilled at the thought of purchasing something of greater value, if not a bit of snob appeal.

LATE FOR THE TRAIN: This guy usually drives up the road around midnight in a car whose muffler has seen better days, with high beams on looking for an empty site. Drives around two or three times, finally settles on site across the road. Proceeds to fire up at least two Coleman kerosene lanterns, creating daylight conditions for 30 yards in each direction.